Tips for the Newcomer

• Attend a minimum of six meetings in as short a time as possible.

• Attend several different meetings to get a flavour of the variety of S.L.A.A. meetings in your area.

• If you have questions, speak with a group member after the meeting.

• Although hand-holding and hugging can be healing, physical contact is always optional, inside or outside the meeting.

• At times, you may perceive another member’s response as coldness, avoidance, or as a sign of personal rejection. That member may simply be unable to be present for you. Ask someone else.

• It’s a good idea to have some phone numbers of sober members of S.L.A.A. before you leave the meeting. You may want to get a new phone number at every meeting you attend. If a phone list is not available, ask individual members whether they are willing to receive calls.

• In order to feel more connected to the group, you may want to talk with members, or help put away chairs, or find another way to share a few moments with others after the meeting. Some groups have an informal get-together after the meeting.

• Become open to the collective wisdom of the group. Through participation in S.L.A.A., we learn new ways to reduce alienation and isolation from ‘others and to set healthier boundaries.

• Get a Sponsor. A Sponsor gives us individual support and guidance in applying the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to our lives. Many of us began practicing our first “healthy” relationship in recovery with our Sponsor.

• Read the literature. Keep a journal. Share your feelings.

• Be patient with yourself and others. We didn’t develop our sex and love addiction overnight – we won’t heal overnight. You have your whole life to recover!

• Consider your priorities. We might be tempted to think that S.LAA. meetings are a good place to find a relationship. Those of us who have tried this, soon found that, to recover, we needed to change our focus. We decided upon a specific period of time (usually several months or a year), in which we would not be involved in any romantic and/or sexual relationships. We took this time to concentrate on our program of recovery.

• Developing these supportive qualities can be a great help, too:

Hope, Understanding, Support
Gratitude
A Sense of Humour
A Positive Attitude